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Written by Yi Ann Cheow

Textbook References: Twitter and Tumblr, duh-doy
1. Let’s start with this snarky duck
duck
2. Why did the mushroom go to the party?
B: Cause he’s a fungi!
A: Why didn’t he get in?
B: There wasn’t mushroom!
3. What’s the difference between a piano, a tuna and a pot of glue?
A: You can tuna piano, but you can’t piano a tuna.
B: What does glue have to do with this?
A: I knew you’d get stuck there
4. Did you hear about the English teacher who went to jail?
She got a full sentence.
5. And then there’s this chemical mess
triene
6. A: So, oxygen went on a date with potassium today and it went OK
B: Oh my god, I thought oxygen was dating magnesium.
C: Actually, oxygen first asked nitrogen out but nitrogen was all like “NO”
D: I thought oxygen had that double bond with the hydrogen twins
E: Looks like someone’s a HO
7. What kind of fish is made of only two sodium atoms?
9TRgBg7dc
8. Roman Empire Nurse: Doctor!! This man needs an IV right away!!
Roman Empire Doctor: Four? Four of what? He needs four of what??
Patient: *dies with the biggest smile on his face*
9. RIP boiled water,
you will be mist.
10. How does NASA organize a space party?
hqdefault
11. Who was the roundest knight at King Arthur’s round table?
Sir Cumference
12. A: Oh, so you like metal? Name 3 blacksmiths.
B: Will, Jaden and Willow
A: dude
13. Why did the scarecrow get a promotion?
He was outstanding in his field
scarecrow
14. Any salad can be a Caesar salad
if you stab it enough.
15. Which state is the loudest?
Illinoise
It’s funny because the last part in Illinois is silent

Silence is the loudest scream

16. Who ‘whipped’ up this artistic majesty
whip
17.  I love pressing F5.
It’s so refreshing
18. Did you hear about the Italian chef with a terminal illness?
He pastaway.
19. A: If corals get stressed they die.
B: What do corals even get stressed about?
A: Current events
20. And last point for this class, how do French skeletons say “hello”?
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21. So, let’s end this lecture with one last one, I promise, seriously

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Written by Whatever Lah

Recruits from Charlie Company participate in the two-day rigorous event known as the Crucible. This photo won honorable mention, Combat Training, in the 2012 Military Photographer of the Year photo competition.

In an organization or some sort of establishment, there are always people who sit behind the desk, do the thinking and contribute ideas relevant to that of a common vision. They are the think tanks of the organization that they’re in, assuming the highest of positions and make hard decisions which regular people like us don’t or are simply too afraid to make. In a nation, we label these people as the government. The government create jobs, provide healthcare and also education to feed young minds. We call them the law makers and peace keepers because they put people behind bars and keep everyone else safe.

…….However, they also make mistakes like how we all do. And consequent to that, disputes arise. People start taking sides and the promise to protect and defend the nation now seems to be turning into a mere preservation of their own ideals. Economy starts to weaken and food becomes scarce. Amongst us, our friends, brother or father are chosen to be in the frontline.

…….Politicians are often seen as a congregation of people who bask in the glory of governing the nation. Still, when it comes to the defending the nation, soldiers are the ones being sent out. An army of 10, 000 people whom we used to be living with are now the ones pledging their life for the sake of the nation. They bear the backlashes of badly made choices and pay the ultimate price so we can still live another day enjoying the comforts of home.

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U.S Army Veteran – Photography Project by Betty Wu

…….As a citizen, I deem highly of these people who have chosen hope over fear. The path that they choose to walk on has never been one for the faint hearted. The courage mustered to sign their life away in service for us common people. These are noble acts in which politicians will never ever come close to making. Instead of writing papers and giving speeches, soldiers patrol in the far desserts and distant mountains. They guard the shores of our sea and watch overnight the borders of our land. In the harsh times of their service, they have certainly faced perils that we can only scarcely imagine. Thus, they display the true embodiment of the spirit of service. They walk miles and carry heavy loads just to ensure that the precious gift of freedom and independence that is passed on still remains.

…….And it is with this that we can have the confidence in them to ensure our safety. And also the unwavering faith that we can have in them that someday our children’s children will not ever live to taste the wrath of war. Thank you for your obscure yet profound labour that we seldom see and appreciate. It is because you have given your life away in service that we can still hold on to ours every day. You are our hero.

They guard the shores of our sea and watch overnight the borders of our land

Written by Aashwany Chandra Mohan

24 Facts About France

Euro 2016 has kicked off with France, the hosting country winning its first match against Romania. Some of you maybe football fans and some may know the famous names such as Thierry Henry, Cristiano Ronaldo and so forth. Instead of mind – numbing some of the latter with how football works, I thought of sharing 24 facts about France would be a great idea. Why 24? There are 24 national teams whom are contesting in Euro 2016. Well, at least if you don’t know the game, you know something about the hosting country.

So, let’s begin or shall I say “Commençons“…

  1. Situated in the Western Europe, France is the most visited country in the whole wide world. Who wouldn’t want to visit the country with the famous Eiffel Tower and Musée du Louvre?
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    Source: Matthieu Plante – 500px
  2. A little do you know that Paris, France’s capital was originally a Roman city known as “Lutetia”.
  3. Despite being one of the most visited country in the world, sadly, France is also one of the most depressed country in the world.
  4. A café in Nice, France called La Petite Syrah café encourages politeness among people by decreasing the cost of a cup of coffee. An order of a cup of coffee without a “hello” or “please” can cost you a whopping €7 (RM32) and the similar order with a hello will only cost you €1.40 (RM6.40). Well, bad manners has its way of costing you extra.
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    Source: Google Images
  5. France is the first country in the world to introduce license plate.
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    Source: PaolaCalibraFoto – 500px
  6. France also uses most time zones compared to any other country in this world, 12 time zones. The metropolitan France uses Central European Time, however, France also has dependencies and overseas territories all over the world, hence the 12 time zones.
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    Source: Google Images
  7. For over 200 years until 2012, it was illegal in France for women to wear trousers.
  8. If you have traveled to France, you will notice that there are few cabs around in Paris. This is because it costs almost 200000 Euros to get taxi license.
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    Source: Michel Z – 500px
  9. The national animal of France is a Gallic rooster.
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    Source: Google Images
  10. The Louvre was built in the 12th century as a defense against Viking raids.
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    Source: Sandeep Mathur – 500px
  11. The world’s first artificial heart transplant and face transplant both took place in France.
  12. When it comes to the Europe’s busiest railway station, many would think of the London Waterloo station, however Paris Gare du Nord is the busiest railway station in Europe.
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    Source: Jasper Opstelten – 500px
  13. Not only that, Paris Gare du Nord is also one of the oldest railway station in the world. It was inaugurated in 1846.
  14. When it comes to football, if the national team reaches final or win, celebrations are held in Les Champs Elysée, one of the most famous boulevard in Paris.
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    Source: Christian Barret – 500px
  15. There is only one stop (Arrêt) sign in the entire city of Paris.
  16. One of the most important fact is that French toast is not French after all. It was invented by Joseph French who forgot an apostrophe. Ohhh, what a spoiler to the “French – themed” breakfast!!
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    Source: Simon Sperling – 500px
  17. To add a little more spice to the spoilers, croissants are not French actually. It was invented in Austria as Kipferl and the idea was brought into France by an Austrian artillery officer. Kipferl is known as the ancestor of croissants.
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    Source: Ridvan Arda – 500px
  18. The shortest reign of a king was actually in France where Louis XIX was the King of France for only 20 minutes.
  19. King John I of France was proclaimed king five months before his birth. However, he only lived for 5 days.
  20. In the 19th century, for approximately 16 years the flag of Kingdom of France was plain white.
  21. Michelin guide where the Michelin stars is the hallmark of fine dining quality and restaurants which is now adapted all over the world. Even though, Michelin Guide was originally started to boost the demand for cars and car tires.
  22. There are around 350 – 450 distinct types of French cheese. To make everyone’s life easier, they have been grouped into 8 categories which is also known as ‘les huit familles de fromage’ (eight families of cheeses).
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    Source: Natasha Breen – 500px
  23. French was the official language of England for about 300 years from 1066 to 1362.
  24. And last but not least, for all you sport enthusiasts, Tour de France, the famous cycle race, has been going on for almost 100 years.
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    Source: Dean Moore – 500px

Sources of all 24 facts: FactSlides.com; Roughguides.com; insidethetravellab.com

Despite writing an article about France entirely, the author is an avid fan of German national football team. Comment here or on our FB page which team you’re supporting this Euro.

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Written by Jonathan Chua

The most beautiful smile I came across was undoubtedly from a girl who introduced herself as lollipop. For the longest time I was fooled by her demeanor and sparkling personality that I overlooked whatever faults she had and until this day I failed to find a single fault in this person.

I pondered what had made me admire this girl and it boiled down to one single aspect – her smile.

A simple muscle exercise that would turn your world inside out and bring out the best in you. It is simple but lethal.

Reading about this phenomenon, many fascinating facts emerged throughout my research. Smiles are contagious, smiles boosts your immune system, the most easily recognizable expressions and boost your mood. But even if I were to talk about it from my personal point of view, it almost felt like I had forgotten what being happy was all about.

A feeling so unknown yet is called one of the seven natural reflexes of all human emotions. Negative emotions leave you and elation floods your mind. As a result, I too started to smile, and I believed I was happy. I would smile to my friends, to strangers, to the stray cat on the corner of the road, all the while thinking whether I had become the Joker and only needed the makeup for it.

I was always told that I had a stoic expression; devoid of emotion and statuesque and for the longest time I had believed it. But I changed. I developed. Slowly, to my amazement, I made friends, and they too smiled back at me. The feeling of joy was something shared in this action rather than my own accomplishment in an academic or physical activity.

In every smile shared with another, it would always remind me of you. I thank you, not for teaching me, but for showing me the powerful simplicity of a smile. It really is a wonderful yet abnormal normality. I shall take it and share your beauty with the world.

Your smile will give you a positive countenance that will make people feel comfortable around you – Les Brown

 

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Written by Zeus and Camus

The night was hesitant. The clouds danced in an awkward ballad with the winds, obscuring any wonders the black canvas holds. Far in the distant expanse, hopeful twinkles caught our eyes.

“Stars,” I whispered.

We strained our eyes, tugging at any muscles that would aid us in our quest. We had wishes to liberate but none of the celestial bodies were strong enough to hold them.

The stillness of the night took our mind captive, chained our bodies to the seat. Our soul, wandered free through the sky, took ride on the dark stallion. We were nomads, unwilling to settle. Our stomachs were aching for the slightest taste of the dreams the day had stolen, and so, we set out to conquer the night.

Every dream, every fear, and every hope took hold of the stars. For now, they were our journey. We jumped from one star to another, collecting nebulous dust to sow a constellation.

Our dreams have transcended reality now. The borders have faded, leaving potential sparks to ignite our essence. We are one in mind; a network of intercalated threads holding the entirety of human consciousness as one single fabric. Our sanity treacherously balanced upon its fragility.

We are not liars.

We are just travelers.

We have no motive,

No destination.

We relish in the journey: the search for completion.

But for what,

We do not know.

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Written by Winnie Yew

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With the ever increasing popularity of café culture in KL, we also witness the evolution of desserts. From fuming ice cream to cotton candy in coffee, name it and they could be soon a reality. When I first visited Wild Sheep Chase at Taman Desa about half a year ago, I found them captivating for their simplicity among the trending fancy cafes. When I had a chance to talk with one of the café founders, Sujian, I found they have something more than their simplicity, sincerity.

Why the name “Wild Sheep Chase”

“Wild Sheep Chase” is a novel by Haruki Murakami. It mainly talks about how everyone is chasing their dreams, but their dreams need not to be big, it might be just doing what they like and live in peacefulness. I think that’s what I want to do. Also, our café started in the year of sheep. (Sujian also tells me that she and her boyfriend call each other “silly sheep”, so cute of them!)

What inspired you to start the café?

Actually, I didn’t think of starting a café before this, it’s more to chance and luck. My boyfriend, Chris enjoys coffee very much and often make me pour over coffee at home. We visited a café called Caldo café during our trip to Taiwan, which is famous for its soufflés. One day, the owner of Caldo café visited KL and we make jokes about opening a café together. But he became serious about it and we hesitated for ½ a year before making the decision. It was difficult at first because the ingredients in Taiwan are so different with those we have here. We have tried every single type of eggs (including duck’s eggs) to make sure that the flavor match well for the soufflés.

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The minimalistic layout that Sujian envisioned for her cafe provides an ambience that’s just right (Image courtesy to: lifewithyen.wordpress.com)

Once I step into the café, I feel a sense at home. Can you tell me about your café setting?

At first, we wanted to hire a designer for our interior design. But at last we decided to do it ourselves (smile).We DIY our deco to make sure that everything we placed is useful. We aim for our customer to FOCUS on the FOOD and EACH OTHER, which is the most important thing for me. If a customer comes alone, that makes me even happier, because it shows that we are able to provide a comfortable environment for him or her to stay, just like home.

I found an open kitchen in the cafe, it is for the customer to feel at ease looking at the chef preparing food?

To tell you the truth, it’s the exact opposite (laugh). It is for our chef to look at the customer when they are preparing the food. I believe what it takes to make a delicious dessert (or food), is for the person who is making it to have a good mood. That’s why I hope them to able to look at the customers’ smile when the customers taste the dessert, or their face of surprise (LIKE WHOA) when they look at it being so nicely prepared. Sometimes, the chefs will even slow down their pace when they find out the customers spending a lot of time taking photos. So they will purposely make the second dish slowly to make sure it’s not cold by the time it is sent out.

I heard that all of your desserts, even your sandwich bread is handmade.

Yeah, but that’s also due to luck. It just so happens that we have a chef that previously worked in an Italian restaurant and he knows how to make bread. We tried it and it happens to be much better than what we get from the bakery outside. It’s a lot of work, but we believe that food taste better with Sincerity. That is why we persist in making our food upon order, everything should be served hot and not from the microwave. That’s also why we don’t sell cake in a fridge (laugh).

What is it that you want to convey to the customers through your dessert and the café?

I hope they can feel the warmth of the sincerity we put in our desserts and the cafe. From the vanilla beans that we carefully extract for our desserts (no vanilla extract here!), to the magazines we placed up the rack for the readers. We make sure to pay attention to the every small details, and only chose those things that we love. It is more to a feeling of wanting to share, and focus on doing one thing, to make the best of it.

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Written by Soulless Cake

The sound of troubled, anxious chatter hushed to a stop when the president walked on stage. Cameras and microphones sprung to life, but what would have normally been excited looks on the media people’s faces were replaced with dread. A sense of foreboding lazed around the room, only amplified by the solemn expression worn by USA’s President. That expression he had was reflected in the faces of millions of men and women around the world. “I’m sorry.”, said the President. In that moment, the world knew of a universal truth. Humanity is doomed.

A middle aged man lit up a cigarette and blew a puff of smoke. He stared blankly at the television, at the President. His hands were around the shoulders of his sobbing wife – the woman whom he shared the last twenty years of his life with. Normally he would be hearing his wife screaming into his ear about using those blasted cancer sticks. How he would have loved to hear her anger just one more time, instead of those screeching wails.

Blissful innocence reflected in the looks of the boy’s eye as he stared up at his mother. The single mother’s solemn thoughts were interrupted with her child’s comment. “Mama, I don’t understand what the man said.” Hearing this, the mother cradled the boy and ruffled his hair. Fighting back bitter tears, she comforted her child by asking what he wanted for dinner. The boy replied Mac and Cheese. Later that night, the boy was soundly asleep in his room with a full belly and contempt happiness. The mother stood by his bedside, a handgun clutched in her hands. Thoughts of her future sin sent shivers down her spine, but it dulled in comparison to the horrors her child would face. She counted from one to three, and then the trigger was pulled.

In the hours following the President’s speech, acts of suicide ran rampant across the world. From the glorious States of America to the People’s Republic of China, nooses were hung and guns were loaded. There were more than 2 billion deaths from suicide alone, and that number was expected to rise in the coming weeks and months.

But there were also those that won’t go down without a fight. It was nothing but a small glimmer of hope, with the odds heavily stacked against humanity surviving the onslaught to come. Extinguish the flame of mankind, and you’ll find glowing embers stubbornly refusing to die. Embers that will rekindle to form a raging wildfire with any chance they get.

Men and woman around the world swarmed to their local military recruitment centers. There was a surge of recruits unlike anything seen before, with both common folk and well established citizens eager to fan the flames of war. For the first time ever, humanity would link arms and point their guns not at each other, but at the existential threat that their species faced. Historians would relate this to the early days of the Second World War, where countries faced thousands of eager, youthful recruits.

Pessimists talk about the horrors that those youths faced. Optimists look at this as Humanity’s hope of winning. But one thing is for certain – at no point in the past had North and South America, Africa, Asia, Europe and Oceania combine their scientific intellect and military might into the largest armed forces ever seen on the face of this world.

Fan the flames, mould the metal. Start the assembly lines, start the training. Tremble at the myriad of marching boots. Mankind is raising an army, and it’s giving the best shot it has.

 

 

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Report and Photographs by Andrew Octavian, Eunice Ling Wen Shi, and Azfar Afham

Making our way to Seremban at the break of dawn for the annual Goodwill Games conducted between the Bukit Jalil IMU Campus and IMU Clinical School was especially enthralling. Sleepy eyes quickly turn bright as attendees arrived at the destination, Kompleks Belia & Sukan Paroi. The contenders from Bukit Jalil and Clinical School, donned in red and blue variants of the Goodwill Games T-Shirt respectively started their warm-up sessions.

……..After several last rounds of practices, the participants were ready and various sport categories commenced. Badminton and Table Tennis categories took place within the indoor stadium whilst other categories were carried out on the outdoor fields. This year was also graced with the introduction of two novel sport categories, namely Frisbee and Dodgeball. Several players did get sprained ankles and other minor scrapes and bruises, but thanks to the First Aid-ers involved in the event, no major injuries occurred to any of the players.

……..Everybody was pumped and performed extraordinarily, but there could only be one overall winner between the two opposing teams. It was eventually revealed that the teams from Bukit Jalil Campus snagged the first place in not just most but ALL categories, which was unprecedented. All in all, everybody was thrilled to have competed against each other, and the games ended at a high note, all in good will.

Check out some of the best moments from this event!

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Reported by Kong Xing Jun / Photographs by Eunice Ling Wen Shi and Sharaniah Balakrishnan

16th of May is hailed as the national celebration for Teacher’s Day. Like any other Teacher’s Day celebration, it is to honour and appreciate the duties and efforts of all teachers, or lecturers, during IMU’s annual Faculty Appreciation Week. The week is held from 16th May to 20th May. Events throughout the week involved pre-ordering gifts to be given to lecturers, as well as an envelope display with the lecturers’ names on them in the atrium, so that students can send in their wishes and gratitude towards their lecturers. Ongoing since April was the online voting polls for the Best Academy Award for lecturers in each faculty, voted by the students in each course.

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On the 20th of May, the Closing ceremony for the Faculty Appreciation Week kicked off with a speech from the emcees, followed by the SRC president Felicity, who gave her appreciation and opinion about Teacher’s Day. She made a point that resonated with all lecturers as “Teachers are underappreciated, underpaid, overworked, and under a lot of undeserved stress. Is that right?”

Next was a speech by the VIP of the event, Assoc. Professor Kang Yew Beng. He highlighted that he is currently at where he is, because of many great teachers. Also, he emphasized that learning goes both directions, as not only the students learn from the teachers, but the teachers also learn from the students. “And don’t forget, my students. You are my teachers too.”

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After the heartfelt speeches came the prize giving ceremony for the best lecturer award from each course. The winners are:
– Dr. Vijaya Paul Samuel from Medicine
– Professor Christopher Vincent a/l Sebastian from Dentistry
– Mr. Sajesh Kalkandi from Pharmacy
– Dr. Cheong Kok Whye from Pharmaceutical Chemistry
– Miss Chang Woan Ching from Nursing
– Dr. Chye Soi Moi from Biomedical Sciences
– Dr. Anna Ling Pick Kiong from Medical Biotechnology
– Miss Lee Ching Li from Dietetics with Nutrition as well as Nutrition
– Dr. Tamara Gien Pooke from Chiropractic
– Professor Lin Xun from Chinese Medicine
– Mr. Alexius Cheang from Psychology
– Miss Chow Kit May from Foundation in Sciences.

Upon conversing with Mr Sajesh, from the Pharmacy Practice Department, he replied “Fourth time.” He looked at his award with glee. “Thanks.” His words were little, but his contributions to the students were boundless, as any good teacher would offer.

Yen, a committee member organizing the event, gave a few words on the objectives of the event. “We would like to have a platform for the students to appreciate their lecturers.” She was satisfied with the turnout of this event as it was within the IMU Scholars’ expectations.

Assoc. Professor Kang shared a few words about his thoughts on Teacher’s day, which was “Anytime you celebrate teacher’s day, it’s like having a birthday. It reminds them the significance of a certain group, the teachers.”

As a close, teaching and learning is a two way process, whereby both teachers and students gain knowledge from each other and teach each other. Nevertheless, a teacher’s duty is ever great to promise successful people in life.

More pictures from the event down below!

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Written by Aashka Murdeshwar (ME2/15) / Photographs by Andrew Octavian (MB1/14)

On the 6th of May, the backcourt of IMU was encapsulated in clouds of pink, blue and green. The vibrations of the loud bass masked the sounds of excited cheers and laughter; it was that time of the year again, it was Holi.

Holi is a Hindu spring festival celebrated in many regions of South East Asia. It traditionally symbolizes the start of a new season, where one can forget the negativity from the past year and embrace a newfound positivity. The Indian and Sri Lankan Cultural Society as well as the Hindu Society aimed to spread this positive message within IMU through the celebration of this festival, along with indirectly promoting diversity within the various cultural groups present in IMU’s campus.

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As eloquently put by the president of IMU’s Hindu society Yuvithra Devi Shanmugan, “Holi is a celebration which brings society together and strengthen the secular fabric of IMU’s community just with colors”. This year’s Holi celebration achieved just that by hosting over a 100 students all from different courses and cultural backgrounds within IMU. “We were glad that a significant number of non Indian students from IMU turned up and celebrated the joyous festival together with full enthusiasm. Overall, we were pleased and more than satisfied with the participation and the welcoming for this event” Yuvithra elaborated. The event provided a fun filled meeting ground for students as well as staff in the IMU community to talk to each other and make new friends, outside their courses and faculties.

“Holi is a celebration which brings society together and strengthen the secular fabric of IMU’s community just with colors.” – Yuvithra, President of IMU’s Hindu Society

There was a range of different colors students could buy as well yummy food items sold at the events such as doughnuts and tarts that kept participants of the festival energized throughout the night.  The event is usually celebrated with not just colors but also a water fight, so balloons filled with water were flung across the basketball court and buckets filled with water were poured all over unassuming victims by their friends. As the event came to a close, staff and students left in a myriad of colors and a smile on their faces demonstrating how wonderful the event had been.

In my own opinion, this event symbolized the very essence of what IMU’s student community believes in: positivity and togetherness. The colour-filled celebration brought together various cultures and communities within IMU, proving that this university is a rainbow; each person colorful and different, but most powerful and beautiful when united as one.

For more photos of this event, check out the Holi album on our Facebook page! Spread the colors! Thank you

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