Written by Toh Boon Kheng,
Artwork by Tammy Teh Siew Vuon
The first moment I fell for you,
Everyone was laughing at a joke,
Yet somehow our eyes locked,
And we stopped laughing.
I can’t say I didn’t.
But there was too much at risk,
So I kept it silent;
Confessions left unspoken.
The first time we kissed,
It was an all-in gamble.
The air was cold,
Shelves were tight,
The silence was deafening,
Who says libraries were for good kids?
We looked deep into each other’s eyes,
We knew things can’t change back;
Still, regret never showed itself.
The first time we had a fallout,
You ended up saying it was okay,
That others needed my time more,
That you, yourself, were too selfish.
You were wrong,
I neglected you,
When in reality,
I needed you;
So I made sure to tell you I loved you every day.
The first time I saw you wake from a nightmare,
It was far from the last,
You were soaked in sweat,
Tensed and afraid,
Unlike I have ever saw you before.
So I told you to go for a shower,
As I made you breakfast and chamomile tea.
I knew you’d tell me your tale someday,
And you did.
When you had to leave,
Thousands of words,
And a hundred roses of poetry,
Could not keep you here.
So I let you go from my arms,
But held you closer with my heart,
Hoping and believing,
That someday you’d come back;
Waiting for the day that will never come.
When you wanted to break up,
Something was wrong,
Something you didn’t want me to know,
So I did not ask.
You looked so certain,
As if it was a sale,
As if I were to be given away.
I agreed to end our love;
Not to lose you eternally.
When I heard the news,
I was heading to campus,
But instead I sat staring at the wall.
Time is so relative,
A split second of tragedy,
Takes 2 hours to believe,
3 months to sink in,
7 months to swallow;
Yet forever wouldn’t be enough to forget.